Dear Diary,

Sorry I missed you yesterday. I felt like I didn't really have anything 'meaningful' to say to you. But today, there's something I've been thinking about. This hoodie is designed for 'autistic' people. I, however, see another application. E-tards. Music? Nice smells? Stuff that feels good to touch? Wouldn't you agree diary?

There's one other thing I want to add. I feel like whenever I pee standing up and I have to fart, I'm taking a risk of pooping on the floor.

-Nick